Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Yes it's that time of year again when we think about everything we are thankful for. Are we honest or do we just say what we are expected to say? The other day on facebook ( yes, I'm on facebook ) a woman I went to high school with said, "I wish I knew at 17 what I know at 51".
So think about your life for a minute, If you knew what life had in store for you at 17, would you change anything? So that was a simple yes. I would have studied harder, exercised more, been much more healthy. You see it's a simple question. Let's make the question harder. If you make changes, you could lose what you cherish the most, in my case that would be my children. I think that it's still a simple question. Of all the terrible and rotten times I have been through I would gladly do all over again to keep my kids. I am a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason.
Now, has my opinion been formed because of my age or because of my experiences? If I was 31 would I still feel the same way? At 31 I was still married, only 2 kids, things were good ( not that the other two kids aren't good, they are). The thought of being alone never entered my head. Now at 51, Sean is married and living in Maryland, Sam is living in Albany, Mike in DC and Jack is with me a couple of days a week. Would I like to change that, of course I would but they have to live their own lives not mine. So at 51 I appreciate my children more. Do I love them more than I did twenty years ago, no. It's just that now I know that the time we get to spend together is less, so don't take it for granted.
The same can be said for your friends. How many friends do you have? The best way to count them is to think of this, if you were to die today, who would be the pallbearers at your funeral? Would your family have a hard time getting six people? Take a look at pictures from twenty years ago, maybe a wedding album or big party. How many of those people have you not seen or talked to in ten years? I think that in this life if you have one good friend you are lucky. Maybe my deffination of friends is harsher than yours. Work friends? in 25 years at my job there are two people that I see outside of work. At the end of October 71 people retired, 71 people that I spent the last twentyfive years with. Half of my life, countless holidays, 40 hours a week or more. Of all those people I don't think I will miss more that two or three. I know that I won't go out of my way to see any of them but running into tham at the mall or a game I would stop and talk just to chach up.
Now am I different than anyone else? Are you reading this and saying, Steve you are a miserable old bastard, or am I being painfully honest? I think that I am honest. I think that when it comes to saying just what I am thankful for in this life it will always be the same, I am thankful for my children. Now are they thankful for me? That's a whole different kettle of fish.